My future

Depends on tomorrow, where I’ll end up depends on tomorrow. If I pass this class, I can leave Berkeley and go to school in Fremont. If I don’t well, I really don’t know where I’ll end up. I doubt I could stay in Berkeley for another year, financially and mentally. Right now I just need someone to tell me its going to be okay. That my life doesn’t depend on tomorrow. That how much longer I’ll be in Highschool doesn’t depend solely on tomorrow at 8:30 am. Time stands still, and I just need to know where the fuck I’ll end up.

you can’t imagine how much fun we’re having

Remember those talks on the lonely roads where we spilled our hearts while we headed home? It’s because of those nights that we grew so close. I know our bond is stronger than most. The most profound things I’ve ever heard came from half-awake kids that never had their turn. And I felt the same way, so we could all relate with misfortune and what it takes out of ourselves. This has taken so much out of me. Fucking drained, running on empty. Stomach in knots, begging to be free. I drown it all out so I can finally breathe. And I’ll ask myself, where will this road lead? Fell down and picked back up, destined for anything. And I’ll ask myself, where will this road lead? I just need to know, where the fuck will we end up? Where will this road lead? Is this our destiny? Right now, time stands still. This is all that I believe.

-Life Long Tragedy

2009

yeah, another 2009 post woo..

Sorry about the previous negative post. Needed to vent. New Years was cool, drank caffinated drinks and gave Simone a fat kiss. I didn’t feel too..happy? Kinda just felt like another day.  I spent most of the time just dwelling on 2008 and what a shitty year it had been. Getting kicked out, dealing with depression, losing friends at the beginning of the year, new schools..it’s all so eventful and emotional. I couldn’t find much to celebrate about. Until Simone came by and that picked me up, I then became grateful for the things I have, people around me, and I made it through another year still alive and out of jail. This year just seems to be even more uphill. The after effects of the medicine I was on are just making things harder.

For nostalgia’s sake, what I remember most about 2008 is..south Fremont. With the exception of Gabe, my whole life was there. Never really tell anyone this but just seeing Mission Peak depresses me, reminds me of what could’ve been. Irvington, public school something that I really looked forward to and wanted to make work because I had gone to private schools my whole life. The dream job, printing shirts for subydude.com (oldschool!) working with my best friends and having a dope job. Not the best people to work for but whatever really fun first job. Some old friends, people I wish I really could’ve spent more time with. Miss you Jimmy, Cody, Josh, Shane, Chieri, Vivian, Alice, Mr. Mintey, Ms. Friend,  Monica, Dominic,  Jessica, Davante, Rachel, Sam, Cecilia, Cruz. I swear I’m missing some…I feel stupid, I always remember that school feeling alone, but there were people there for me all along. Looking back, I was such a tool.  I think I know why. Probably still am, fuck. Oh yeah, can’t forget the Mission Blvd bike rides and automall shipping area sessions! Those were fun as hell! Thinking about the good stuff now, doesn’t make it seem all so bad. There were a lot of good people I met, things I did, times I had. I doubt I’ll forget such a hectic year. Safe to say half the year sucked while the other half was fun and interesting. Being stuck at home for a good 6 months, starting at a new school, being kicked out. I’ll learn from those mistakes.

Oh well, I can’t sit around feeling sorry for my self, waiting for someone to pick me up off the ground, and wondering what could’ve been. My resolution for 2009 is to not turn away from the people who offer me friendship like what I did at Irvington. That was the past and you can’t compete with dreams.

Thanks 2008.

Now for year of the Fried Chicken and All Time lizzzow with the most amazing woman ever (Simone G. Park), besides my Mom, Grandma, and Hillary. :]]

2008 shoutouts:

Gabe, Justin, Jerome, Simone, Chieri, Vivian, Davante, Josh, Colby Elrick, Crime In Stereo, Face to Face, Alkaline Trio, Carpathian, Killing the Dream, Life Long Tragedy (r.i.p.) …so many people to name

I’m missing alot from this post! Sorry! especially all the bro moments I’ve had! haha